Late Night Lamentations of a Weary U.S. American

I am tired.  This post will not be eloquent, nor comprehensive of everything I want to express right now.  It will be terse and limited, because I honestly do not know what to say.  Emotionally, physically, and mentally, I am burnt through, and though I feel as if there is nothing I can say, I feel the need to say something.

I’m sorry.

I let myself down.

As a progressive, I played a role in the vilification of conservatives, and created an enemy I was not ready to face.

Donald Trump’s platform is one that holds the power to destroy everything that I cherish about this nation.  His presidency poses a threat to my very national identity, and I must admit that I am to blame for that reality.

I had so many ideas and hopes of my own in mind that I failed to pursue any understanding of my brothers and sisters who had different viewpoints than mine.  I failed to communicate.  I failed to learn.  I failed to receive and witness.  I failed to love my neighbor.

I should have done more to express my concerns in a way that wasn’t so polarized toward those who already agreed with me.  I should have done more to understand why people in my home country have different values than my own, and I should have put forth more effort in understanding the worth in those values.

I am the Levite who passed by the Samaritan as he lay abandoned, face in the dirt, unable to breathe in anything but the pain that consumed him.  I was distracted, and ultimately wrapped up in self-righteousness.  I passed by, thinking that my political and theological objectives were more important than his pain.  I failed to love my neighbor, because I was too wrapped up in understanding the enemy of my neighbor as my neighbor, and I became absorbed in the idea that ignoring one neighbor for the sake of another was my calling.

I have failed in that I have minimized the grace I owed to those with whom I disagree politically and theologically.  And it is because of people like me, who have polarized our enemies instead of reaching out to them, and loving them where they are; engaging in productive and mutual discourse about our different understands of God’s love, that a fear monger, someone who promises to attack the diversity and richness of my nation, has become president.

 

I’m sorry for my blindness, for my pride, and for my neglect.  I hope I learn from my mistakes.

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